You read that right: a few months ago, I quit a job after only 3 months of being employed there. I have debated about sharing this for a while and initially felt shame, but recently, I decided that there is value in normalizing people prioritizing themselves. So I will share my story in the hopes that it helps someone else come to that same realization.
I took this new job after landing my dream job after grad school. I was so excited to move closer to home and finish up my Auditory Verbal Therapy certification. Unfortunately, the job just was not what I was expecting.
Just shy of my two-month mark, I began feeling unfulfilled, sick, and even angry at the end of my work days. I knew that it wasn't normal, nor was it like me to feel this way, and that this couldn’t be a permanent situation for me. But after all, how could I leave a job after only 2 months?! I continued to put a guilt trip on myself until I finally had enough. I reached out to my support team for honest opinions and the resounding response was: LEAVE! Even knowing I needed to leave, I felt sick to my stomach because I knew how the situation would be viewed and discussed.
I turned in my notice and bounced out of there so quickly. I was completely gaslit on my way out. My employer's assessment of the situation was that I was unprofessional and didn't care about my clients. That was not only incredibly jarring but very hurtful and disheartening. To have people insinuate that because I valued myself and knew I deserved better I did not care about the people I served.
I’m still trying to process the entire experience and my feelings about everything. However, I recognize that "I am not a VICTIM. I am a VICTOR." (Thank you Big Brother Season 24 winner, Taylor Hale for the inspiration) I have faired so much better than I could have ever imagined! The number of opportunities that I have been able to say yes to have my cup filled. The best part is I am able to work in a way that is ethical and truly offers the best to my clients.
While I wish this story was a single incident, we know that it is not. My mother prepared me for experiences just like this as a teenager based on her own. My grandmother prepared her. Yet, we are still here dealing with the same thing. We are told to smile, be polite, and keep it moving. We are told that we are not allowed to share these experiences. It is unprofessional and bad taste to share negative experiences. However, every experience in life is not positive. We need to discuss them all. I am sharing this so that others understand that no one should be miserable at work. No one should stay where they do not feel welcome to be themselves or are actively being mistreated.
Do not let guilt keep you in a situation for longer than necessary. To my fellow therapists, the clients, students, and patients will be fine.
In the words of Beyoncé, YOU WON'T BREAK MY SOUL!